WTF Do I Wear Now? A Real Talk Guide to Postpartum Outfits

So....I had a baby...great, wonderful...bodies are truly amazing! But how am I supposed to be the hot, new MILF on the block when I don't know my own damn self anymore... mild body dysmorphia anyone!? I still look like myself and I sound like myself, yet there are slight differences, and I definitely don't feel like the same person. Ya know, no one tells you that when you bring a baby home, you also bring a new version of yourself home too, and that you will struggle to discover who this new person is. That really should be in the pamphlets. One of the first things that threw me off was trying to figure out what postpartum outfits I could actually wear that didn’t make me feel like a stranger in my own skin.

There is so much expectation placed on new moms to "bounce back"...to your old body, to your former self, to a fully functioning brain… You must look put together so no one has to acknowledge the struggle behind the concealer that's hiding the sleepless nights. But what happens when you don't know who that person is because they no longer exist? Not only has my body changed, but so has my whole existence. My brain has been completely rewired this year. The belly that grew life may be smaller without them in it, but it's not the same as it was before. There are scars marking the skin like a map, skin that now sits differently on my body making clothes feel impossible to wear. And that's okay. It's not good nor bad, just different.

I think it goes without saying that changes to your physical and mental state, in any circumstance is hard! Some of your clothes from *before* may technically fit, but they might not FEEL right anymore, might not feel like you. Or you might not be able to wear literally anything from your closet besides pajamas. Or manage to look at yourself in the mirror without picking apart all of your "flaws," not recognizing the you that stares back. We have all been there at some point in our lives.

I am two months postpartum, and this journey of finding the new me is no joke man. I have no clue how to dress myself anymore! My regular clothes are too small, my maternity clothes are too big, and I have no clue what to do with these dang boobs!! To say I may hate everything in my closet might seem a bit extreme, but it feels like admitting the truth. I don't even know what my current style is besides surviving. Seriously. My uniform currently consists of cute pajama sets with the top fully unbuttoned for easy access, a dirty nursing bra, slippers, and a week(s) old messy bun. I am in complete mom mode. It's definitely a look, if only I could leave the house like that...

So what is a person to do?

(Besides burning everything and becoming a nudist, I mean.)

Realistic Tips for Finding the Right Postpartum Outfits

- If you know your body is going through changes in the next few months, go through your closet and pack away any clothes you know won't fit for awhile but you might want to keep. Donate or recycle the rest! Don't be afraid to do this multiple times, it's a process but trust me... Your favorite pair of skinny jeans with the snatched waist is probably best out of sight out of mind to resist the temptation to try them on and risk heartbreak when they don't fit like you remember. Save them for a rainy day farrrr down the road when things aren't so emotional. Keep out anything that makes you happy and fits your body as it is right now.

- Find stretchy and oversized pieces, either in your wardrobe or thrifting, that you can wear in any stage of change, and make them your STAPLES!!! No one will notice if you rotate between wearing the same three things. If you're comfortable and feel confident, that's all anyone will see.

- Don't force yourself to fit into an old version of you that no longer exists. Embrace who you are in this moment, mentally and physically. Clothes are just pieces of fabric, they don't define you. If they don't fit who you are now, it's time for them to change too.

- Take time to sit and reflect on this new version of yourself. What characteristics define who you want to be? What does that person look like? Pinterest or Google those keywords for inspiration that defines your style.

- Keep in mind how a piece of clothing functions, how it interacts with your body and lifestyle. If it's cute, but makes life harder for you, evaluate if it's worth it. Example: long sleeve turtleneck bodysuit while breastfeeding? Probably not a good combination.

- Match your baby! You created their closet and bought what you thought was cute for them... why not curate your own postpartum outfits around your favorites of theirs? It will help getting ready feel more intentional and hopefully less stressful. Plus everyone loves a good Mommy & Me moment! Use colors, textures, and patterns as inspiration. Borrow their accessories, why not?

- If you HAVE to get a whole new wardrobe that meets your new body and self image... get creative. Try thrifting (at Sunny and Olive, maybe??) or recycling your items into something new or maybe do a clothing swap with friends. It ain't cheap to reinvent yourself but it sure can be fun!

Now, like a true Midwestern, I don't know how to end this, so I'll leave you with one last thing... No matter where you are in your physical/mental journey, or the reason behind it, you are not alone. Reach out to your friends. Ask them their stories, share yours, then go burn your old selves down and start anew.

Signed a Newly Badass Mama needing to take her own "advice"

Xoxo, Caitlin Shroyer